The Switch to Formula - Part 2

Weaning a young baby sucks.  I’m not used to this “bring bottles and formula everywhere I go” deal.  I’m used to just bringing myself.  And maybe a nursing cover and a bottle of drinking water for me (anyone else get super thirsty the millisecond they start breastfeeding?!).  Even if I forgot the nursing cover and water bottle, I could just use a blanket… or nothing… Now I have to remember a bottle AND formula?!  You’d think that wouldn’t be such a big deal.  For me apparently it is. 

This week I have been helping out at my church day camp. That means that I have to be ready and out the door with my three girls (plus a neighbour’s daughter) by 8:15am every morning.  My husband, thankfully, has been extremely helpful in the mornings with feeding the girls breakfast and getting them ready etc.  All I have had to do is get myself ready, dress and feed the baby, pack the diaper bag and do the girls’ hair (not my husband’s forte!  Haha!).  Not very much to do. 

On Monday, I did it all.  Or so I thought.  When my baby got hungry late that morning, I went into the diaper bag to get the bottle full of water I had packed.  Then I rummaged around for the formula container.  No container.  I didn’t even have to dump the bag to realize that I had left it on the counter at home.  So, I had to run out to the drugstore down the street to buy a new can of formula.   Annoying!

Tuesday was better.  I remembered everything (I might have had a little reminder from my husband!).  Wednesday?  Not so good.  Tuesday night my baby was up a lot during the night so when Wednesday morning rolled around, I was not ready for it!  I got to the church a bit late (the Timmies drive-thru was super busy that morning!  Now that I can drink coffee, I am taking full advantage of it! J ).  As soon as I sat down, I realized I had forgotten my daughter’s formula AGAIN!!!!  My husband saved the day again… he was still home and was able to swing by on his way to work to drop the formula off.  Phew!

I also hate having to prepare bottles at night.  My daughter doesn’t go back to sleep as easily after a bottle as after nursing either.  And she still roots for the breast if I hold her a certain way.    Plus her poop is starting to stink.  She spits up way more and the spit up stinks too!   

A couple people have suggested continuing to pump so that I can continue breastfeeding her after I stop taking the medication.  While that’s a good idea in theory, it’s just not realistic.  I was already having to supplement because my milk supply wasn’t enough anyway.  I was also told not to give the medication a time limit.  I need to feel better and make sure everything is balanced first.  That could mean weeks or months.  Who knows.  With three children, there’s no way I could realistically be pumping that much or for that long in addition to bottle feeding and taking care of my three girls.  Even the thought stresses me out. 

I’m finally okay with this decision.  No more guilt.  No more doubt.  I’m feeding my daughter and she’s growing.  She actually has leg rolls now.  They make me happy.  And I know she’s happy.  That’s what matters.  Overall, she has adjusted to the bottle pretty easily.  And my husband (or someone else) can feed her now.  I’m not as sore now (no more cabbage leaves needed! J ) either.  Plus, I still feel a strong bond with my daughter even though I’m bottle feeding her.  She gazes up into my eyes while she’s drinking and I smile at her.  I think she knows this was best.